Wednesday, December 17, 2008


  Today has been nice.  I delivered everyone their cookies, and everyone is happy.  Yay for food!  I got some QT with Kaitlin this afternoon.  We hung out with Lora in the kitchen while I baked the rest of the cookies, and then looked for books in Peter's lovely library.  I've been wanting a new book to read, so I'm starting one here soon.. Its kind of a weird and eerie feeling to have lived in a place for 3 years, and to have seen so much transition in a 1 mile radius.  I think RP has seen more transition in 3 years then most small towns probably see in a lifetime.  It seems much more businesslike and organized than it used to be, thank God.  The level of chaos around here from 2005-2008 is night and day.. Which is great, because I don't operate well under "Were doing this, no were doing that." I think that letting your yes be yes and your no be no is so underestimated and important.  I have learned much about that in recent months, and am thankful.  
  As we were taking our walk around the Cause Construction Zone (haha) I was once again thinking about the fact that I live by a castle, and a tower.  Now, I have lived here long enough that sometimes I forget that there even is a tower and a castle.. But then I remember that when people come to visit, I have to preface them a little bit, as to remind them that NO, I am not in a cult.. I got all defensive about it not being a cult when I first moved down here, but now I crack up laughing, because most of my friends are extremely down to earth and amazing.. We just happen to live in a bizarre neighborhood.. 
  Last but not least, my time with the Lord has taken a continual turn over the last several days to the revelation that were not alone.. Its the entire gospel.. Its pretty much summed up in the 3 words, "You're not alone." I wrestle with that one alot.. Sometimes I feel very alone.. Very alone in the midst of people that I know love and care about me.  I think sometimes we just have to walk in that place of brokenness to know what it means to be full.. We never know what it looks like to experience true joy without having gone through trial.. The thing that sucks, is that we hate going through trial, and think that it couldn't possibly be the will of God.. Which is also a lie... We (I) just have to give ourselves over to the journey, and to the process.. We will never "arrive," and just when we think we have arrived, God gives us something else to wrestle with, if we are willing.. And sometimes, even if were not willing, He will give it to us anyway.  God says "The trial of our faith is more precious than gold."  I want to know what that means... Anyway, sorry to cut this short, but I'm off to sell beef...

1 comment:

Emily Ann said...

Wow!!! "The Tales of Therese" cuts right to the core. It's funny...I randomly selected this enlightening journal entry you wrote over a year ago and turns out to ironically be exactly what I need to hear. Reason being I get a little nervous thinking of being away from everyone I love when I leave for training. I've been on my own many times before, so I should be used to it...right. Yeah, it will be awesome to finally accomplish a goal I've had for a long while. And of course, I'm sure I'll meet lots of new and interesting peeps. So what am I so afraid of? When the time comes, and I'm actually "there” and “doing it" I'm guessing I'll have some uncomfortable sobering moments when I feel alone and aware of how way far away I am from those who bring me the most comfort, the ones who know me, and truly love me. But like you mentioned in this entry, it's necessary to go through moments such as these in order to fully understand and appreciate what I do have. And even in the midst of those lousy lonesome times, I love the fact that we are never alone and that Jesus is always with us.