Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Morning, South Carolina. It has that rainy day kind of feel today. Well, thats all I have to say.... Maybe more later.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Oh my Sweet Carolina

"Oh my Sweet Carolina" (Ryan Adams)

I went down to Houston
And I stopped in San Antone
I passed up the station for the bus
I was trying to find me something
But I wasn't sure just what
Man I ended up with pockets full of dust
So I went on to Cleveland and I ended up insane
I bought a borrowed suit and learned to dance
I was spending money like the way it likes to rain
Man I ended up with pockets full of cane
Oh my sweet Carolina
What compels me to go
Oh my sweet disposition
May you one day carry me home
I ain't never been to Vegas but I gambled up my life
Building newsprint boats I race to sewer mains
Was trying to find me something but I wasn't sure just what
Funny how they say that some things never change
Oh my sweet Carolina
What compels me to go
Oh my sweet disposition
May you one day carry me home
Up here in the city feels like things are closing in
The sunsets just my light bulb burning out
I miss Kentucky and I miss my family
All the sweetest winds they blow across the south
Oh my sweet Carolina
What compels me to go
Oh my sweet disposition
May you one day carry me home
May you one day carry me home

Sunday, July 26, 2009


Hebrews 11 (Amplified Bible)

1NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, [a]the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].
2For by [faith--[b]trust and holy fervor born of faith] the men of old had divine testimony borne to them and obtained a good report.

3By faith we understand that the worlds [during the successive ages] were framed (fashioned, put in order, and equipped for their intended purpose) by the word of God, so that what we see was not made out of things which are visible.

4[Prompted, actuated] by faith Abel brought God a better and more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, because of which it was testified of him that he was righteous [that he was upright and in right standing with God], and God bore witness by accepting and acknowledging his gifts. And though he died, yet [through the incident] he is still speaking.(A)

5Because of faith Enoch was caught up and transferred to heaven, so that he did not have a glimpse of death; and he was not found, because God had translated him. For even before he was taken to heaven, he received testimony [still on record] that he had pleased and been satisfactory to God.(B)

6But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out].

7[Prompted] by faith Noah, being forewarned by God concerning events of which as yet there was no visible sign, took heed and diligently and reverently constructed and prepared an ark for the deliverance of his own family. By this [his faith which relied on God] he passed judgment and sentence on the world's unbelief and became an heir and possessor of righteousness ([c]that relation of being right into which God puts the person who has faith).(C)

8[Urged on] by faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed and went forth to a place which he was destined to receive as an inheritance; and he went, although he did not know or trouble his mind about where he was to go.

9[Prompted] by faith he dwelt as a temporary resident in the land which was designated in the promise [of God, though he was like a stranger] in a strange country, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs with him of the same promise.(D)

10For he was [waiting expectantly and confidently] looking forward to the city which has fixed and firm foundations, whose Architect and Builder is God.

11Because of faith also Sarah herself received physical power to conceive a child, even when she was long past the age for it, because she considered [God] Who had given her the promise to be reliable and trustworthy and true to His word.(E)

12So from one man, though he was physically as good as dead, there have sprung descendants whose number is as the stars of heaven and as countless as the innumerable sands on the seashore.(F)

13These people all died controlled and sustained by their faith, but not having received the tangible fulfillment of [God's] promises, only having seen it and greeted it from a great distance by faith, and all the while acknowledging and confessing that they were strangers and temporary residents and exiles upon the earth.(G)

14Now those people who talk as they did show plainly that they are in search of a fatherland (their own country).

15If they had been thinking with [homesick] remembrance of that country from which they were emigrants, they would have found constant opportunity to return to it.

16But the truth is that they were yearning for and aspiring to a better and more desirable country, that is, a heavenly [one]. For that reason God is not ashamed to be called their God [even to be surnamed their God--the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob], for He has prepared a city for them.(H)

17By faith Abraham, when he was put to the test [while the testing of his faith was [d]still in progress], [e]had already brought Isaac for an offering; he who had gladly received and welcomed [God's] promises was ready to sacrifice his only son,(I)

18Of whom it was said, Through Isaac shall your descendants be reckoned.(J)

19For he reasoned that God was able to raise [him] up even from among the dead. Indeed in the sense that Isaac was figuratively dead [potentially sacrificed], he did [actually] receive him back from the dead.

20[With eyes of] faith Isaac, looking far into the future, invoked blessings upon Jacob and Esau.(K)

21[Prompted] by faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons and bowed in prayer over the top of his staff.(L)

22[Actuated] by faith Joseph, when nearing the end of his life, referred to [the promise of God for] the departure of the Israelites out of Egypt and gave instructions concerning the burial of his own bones.(M)

23[Prompted] by faith Moses, after his birth, was kept concealed for three months by his parents, because they saw how comely the child was; and they were not overawed and terrified by the king's decree.(N)

24[Aroused] by faith Moses, when he had grown to maturity and [f]become great, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter,(O)

25Because he preferred to share the oppression [suffer the hardships] and bear the shame of the people of God rather than to have the fleeting enjoyment of a sinful life.

26He considered the contempt and abuse and shame [borne for] the Christ (the Messiah Who was to come) to be greater wealth than all the treasures of Egypt, for he looked forward and away to the reward (recompense).

27[Motivated] by faith he left Egypt behind him, being unawed and undismayed by the wrath of the king; for he never flinched but held staunchly to his purpose and endured steadfastly as one who gazed on Him Who is invisible.(P)

28By faith (simple trust and confidence in God) he instituted and carried out the Passover and the sprinkling of the blood [on the doorposts], so that the destroyer of the firstborn (the angel) might not touch those [of the children of Israel].(Q)

29[Urged on] by faith the people crossed the Red Sea as [though] on dry land, but when the Egyptians tried to do the same thing they were swallowed up [by the sea].(R)

30Because of faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encompassed for seven days [by the Israelites].(S)

31[Prompted] by faith Rahab the prostitute was not destroyed along with those who refused to believe and obey, because she had received the spies in peace [without enmity].(T)

32And what shall I say further? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets,(U)

33Who by [the help of] faith subdued kingdoms, administered justice, obtained promised blessings, closed the mouths of lions,(V)

34Extinguished the power of raging fire, escaped the devourings of the sword, out of frailty and weakness won strength and became stalwart, even mighty and resistless in battle, routing alien hosts.(W)

35[Some] women received again their dead by a resurrection. Others were tortured [g]to death with clubs, refusing to accept release [offered on the terms of denying their faith], so that they might be resurrected to a better life. [I Kings 17:17-24; II Kings 4:25-37.]

36Others had to suffer the trial of mocking and scourging and even chains and imprisonment.

37They were stoned to death; they were lured with tempting offers [to renounce their faith]; they were sawn asunder; they were slaughtered by the sword; [while they were alive] they had to go about wrapped in the skins of sheep and goats, utterly destitute, oppressed, cruelly treated--

38[Men] of whom the world was not worthy--roaming over the desolate places and the mountains, and [living] in caves and caverns and holes of the earth.

39And all of these, though they won divine approval by [means of] their faith, did not receive the fulfillment of what was promised,

40Because God had us in mind and had something better and greater in view for us, so that they [these heroes and heroines of faith] should not come to perfection apart from us [before we could join them].

Friday, July 10, 2009

Wilmington in the morning. Oh snap!

Monday, July 6, 2009


Christ Our Peace (Ephesians 2)

14 For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, 15 having abolished in His flesh the enmity, that is, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, 16 and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. 17 And He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near. 18 For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Ephesians 1

Thank you God for sleep! I feel so refreshed.. This is my prayer for everyone who reads this today.. Its from Ephesians 1.

Prayer for Spiritual Wisdom

15 Therefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, 16 do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 18 the eyes of your understanding[c] being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power 20 which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come.
22 And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, 23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

"No longer listed as single"

I am completely exhausted at the moment. I haven't had quality sleep in almost a week (which is frustrating when everyone you know can hit their head to the pillow and be out) That is definitely 90 percent of my problem at the moment. Lack of sleep puts everything out of proportion for sure. So in my lack of sleep, I came home to have Clint tell me that 3 PEOPLE had come up to HIM and asked why my status had changed on Facebook. I thought that was interesting, seeing as I had purposely set my status to say nothing, and had changed my religious views section. I merely did it because I didn't feel the need to advertise myself online, and just decided to delete it... Well when I did that, it posted on all of my friend status updates that "Tess is no longer listed as single." The thing that drives me absolutely nuts about this, is that all of a sudden people come out of the woodwork to talk about you and what is going on... its like a freaking tabloid sometimes! I just got kind of over it tonight, and think that its becoming way lame to live vicariously through other peoples lives and what they are doing every ten minutes, and what not.. I think it can begin to take the place of genuine deep face to face interaction with people and leave you with an easy way out of having to look someone in the face and have real relationship. So I deactivated my account. If anyone wants to know what's going on in my life, call me and lets go get coffee and we can have a genuine transparent honest interaction. I'm not angry, just being honest and need a little break from FB. Love you all!

July 4 (21) 09-1987

I just love blogging at 3:40 in the morning. What a few days it has been. Raleigh was awesome, more than I expected. (actually I think we were in Durham, but whateva) I had quite the intense day today, that carried over in to the evening. The more I meditate on the word, the more my spirit seems to be getting fed on the only thing that really satisfies. It is kind of crazy, the perspective shift over the last 3 weeks. The question is to continue or not to continue... The payout seems so high that I am very hesitant to stop until the stake is hammered in the ground and the head completely comes off of this thing if you know what I mean. And if you don't know what I mean, it is okay as well... All I can say at the moment is that the head is coming off... The kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.. So God, take off the head.... all the way... We don't want partial decapitation with a hanging esophegus somewhere. Ha I'm so weird, and God enjoys it..
Anyhoo, so today is Independance Day. When I was a little girl, I used to ride on the back of a convertible every year with my grandpa since he was vice mayor. I liked to make the craziest faces possible and wave all of my American flags quite violently for the whole city of Beavercreek. 4th of July will always remind me of my grandpa above all other people in my life. Flags, convertibles, politicians, corn on the cob, watermelon, the pool at their house, and having to run to the hot shower from the pool and escape the freezing cold air conditioner while I was wet. Finesse shampoo, blue and white swirly coast to coast soap, and full racks of BBQ ribs. I am thankful to have those memories with my grandpa.
"The kingdom is in you. Your job, is to with your eyes behold a person long enough until you see the kingdom in them, and then tell them what you see."

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


I am so drained at the moment that I can hardly rationalize my thoughts. So I'm not going to. I am going to lay my head on this faux-down pillow and command sleep over this dang body in Jesus name. And then at 7:15 in the morning I am going to get up, shower my brains out, go to Earth Fare to get a Kombucha, and then head to Raleigh for the day to press in with all that I've got, and hug the Carr's. I like my plan. More later.


I am remembering how much God loves the prayer of faith. "The substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things unseen." It is a beautiful and yet mysterious thing. I have seen Him so honor this cry in my life over and over and over and over. I don't think that it has a whole lot to do with me, seeing as He breathed the very desire in me from the get go. But it is an honor and a privilege to get to partake in watching Him move in the lives of the brokenhearted. He loves to show Himself as the tender father, as the one that would much rather pour out mercy and love on sons and daughters than be a strict judge. And yet we cannot control Him---this is where I get tripped up many times. Where things aren't done on my timetable. But really His timing is much better.
I am starting to understand more clearly over the last few days that the enemy is interested in destroying life in the womb. He will take any direct or sneaky or pretty much ANY hit he can take. Hardened hearts, fibroid cysts... Anything to destroy the seed. I have been blinded many, many times by the view of our nation and children. But the truth is, God loves life, and he hates abortion. In AND out of the womb. He hates when we abort things in the spirit... When we abort the purposes of God in the spirit. I am starting to get a little piece of His heart on this this morning. This is heavy stuff, but I am so encouraged at the moment, because anything you ask according to the will of the Father, and it will be done. And it is our inheritance as sons and daughters of divine promise... We are His purchased posession. He is constantly dreaming over us, and believing for us, making intercession before the throne for us all the time, always going after the one...
I wanted to conclude this with my thoughts on fathering. I know we have this teaching in the church sometimes that we have to have spiritual fathering (in the flesh) and good fathering growing up to have even a SHOT of being functional and living a life and being a healthy person. I used to believe that this was true. I no longer believe in that theory, because there are so many kids in the world that have no one to father them but Jesus, and He is able to be everything, and to carry anyones hearts through anything. "He who puts his hope in Him will never be put to shame." It is His love and the delight of His heart to father... Have a lovely day guys :)