Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I am baking today. Oh the glory!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Quite the Update

I think it is about time that I wrote an entry in here and updated you all on my crazy life. Yes, my crazy, beautiful, currently extremely wonderful life. To say that life has changed since my last entry is a complete understatement. I think if you had told me 6 months ago that I would be in love by November and getting married by next April, I would have told you to up the dosage. But here I am, telling you that I was indeed in love by November and am most definitely getting married April 30th! I am working on a blog right now trying to tell the full version of John and Therese, but its not quite complete yet.

Life at the moment is basically finishing up my job at the Chop House, packing up my life in Wilmington, and spending as much QT as possible with my family here. It is most certainly a bittersweet time having to leave people that I dearly love, but the sweet part is incredibly sweet, being able to spend the next several months making preparations to have a life with my amazing "borderline fiance" John :). Basically our plan for the next month is: possibly drive to Ft. Mill on the afternoon of Christmas Day to see Lora on the way to Knoxville; drive to Knoxville on the morning of the 26th to meet John; leave my car there and drive back to Ft. Mill with John so he can meet my family there; drive back to Wilmington either that night or the next morning; spend the 28-30 with the Carr's, and pack up everything and say goodbye; drive to Harrisburg, PA on the 30th until Jan.3rd for a New Year's Conference John is playing for; take the train to New York one of those days, since neither of us has ever been; drive to Ohio on the 4th for him to meet all of my family and friends; then somewhere in January we will drive to Knoxville to see the rest of our family there; then drive to Nashville to see my BFF thank the Lord in HEAVEN! Then John is driving back to Texas to do some work, and I am heading back to Ohio to plan a wedding with my mom. Crazy? Yes... Can we pull it off? I think so... More updates to come.

Especially one for when I get that ring on my finger!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I thought I had something profound to say.  Not so much!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I am writing this entry tonight with a heavy heart and an extremely tired brain. I try not to take myself too seriously on such little sleep, but would most likely feel this way still on 8 hours, even though I only had 3.
I don't know exactly know where I am going with this, so I might jump all over the place.
Life right now is actually really good. I am loving Wilmington, loving the beach, loving friends, enjoying just being. I have been more at peace over the last 2 months than I can remember in years. I have been finding that there is no striving in real love, and when I started to really get this, rest and peace were the product. Since coming to this place gradually, the smell of religion has become even more potent and unappealing than ever before in my life. I have been able to look back on the last several years (that were very necessary to walk through) and get a glimpse of what I want in my life, and other things that I am absolutely sure I want nothing to do with. Much of this has to do with the very form and structure that once brought me freedom but now sickens me to even think about walking back into.
Most importantly,  I have gotten another glimpse of the real thing. Its that  pure and undefiled love of God that washes me over and over and over, and walks right by my side, right where I'm at, no matter what people say... This is so great to me, because thats why He says to do the things you did at first. He loves us right where we are at, and knows that we have no ability to change on our own or fix our own lives. We get to go through the ebbs and flows of the mountains and the valleys, and they are ALL good.. Not just times that feel good.
I guess the heaviness of heart tonight comes from my own human inability to understand why things happen the way they do sometimes. My friend Casey is the one on my heart tonight. Just as quickly as she found out she was pregnant, she miscarried within 3 days. My human brain doesn't comprehend this stuff. It offends my mind and hurts my heart, yet draws me further in to the heart of God who is really the one in control of our lives, not us. I become foolish the moment I begin to think that I am really in control of my life. We are not promised tomorrow. That can be a scary thought some days. We are however, promised to never be left or forsaken. When my trust and love and hope are wrapped up in that place is where the peace will begin to take over.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Tax Day (aka Lora's birthday!)

Happy Birthday Lora! Normally April 15 is a rather grim day for the general American majority but your birth makes it much sweeter. And so does the fact that I spent months pretending that my taxes didn't exist in fear of owing a ton of money, and then getting back $600. I'm a pretty happy camper about that at the moment.
This week has been great so far. I have decided to just be thankful through the good the bad and the ugly, and with each passing day I have been waking up with a heart that is more and more full of love, nothing that I can explain, nothing I did anything to earn. That is the most incredible thing about grace is the moment that we are brought back to the place where we realize that it is truly free, and that there is no amount of striving or good behavior that we could ever do to earn it. So I am reveling in that revelation of true grace that I knew so well back in the beginning, and also in my $600 surprise. Okay, well I'm off to work again. Later!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Access 9

Well hello to everyone that actually reads my random blogs that I post almost never. Life is good at the moment. I woke up this morning with the motivation to detail clean the entire house. I felt quite accomplished. I even got that hidden spot in the fridge that almost all people ignore even though they know it is accumulating massive amount of God knows what with each passing day. NOW I am currently sitting at beach access 9 at Wrightsville. I am having a blast squeezing sand between my toes while gazing at the water until I have to get ready for work. Oh yes, and I watched "A Perfect World" for the first time in years... Lora if you are reading this, you would love this movie. It's with Kevin Costner.. One of my favorites as a little kid. My sweet friends went back to Charlotte today, and my Drea left me to finish recording her album for another 3 1/2 weeks. Work is going great so far, I have made way more moola than I thought I would for my first week on the floor. I really like the people I work with, which makes life so much happier. I have been having the itch this week to travel to some crazy exotic island in who knows where... But that happens about this time every year.. Maybe next trip will be Santorini or somewhere in Sicily. Well I'm going to quit daydreaming for the moment and go wash off all the sand for work. If you are reading this, you are DEARLY LOVED today. New mercies are so sweet.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Blessed is the man who has a Chik-Fil-A in every section of his town. His quiver will be full of soft serve ice dream cups. Yes, I did just say that. Go me!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I am thankful for hair that hits my bra strap.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Psalm 32

This Psalm, especially verses 7-9 have been my lifesaver this week. He will counsel us with His eye on us if we let Him.

1 Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. [more] 2 Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. [more]
3  For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. [more] 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah [more]
5  I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah [more]
6  Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him. [more] 7 You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah [more]
8  I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. [more] 9 Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you. [more]
10  Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord. [more] 11 Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart! [more]

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English Standard Version
2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers

Monday, March 29, 2010

Delight in me.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Thank it till you make it

I am thankful for:
-10 fingers and 10 toes
-an ocean less than 10 minutes from home.
-a job in a sucky economy
-trials and storms
-soft serve chik-fil-a
-colorful spring flowers
-moments of "knowing"
-a park nearby to take walks in even if I've had to call the cops due to minivan stalkers (better than no park at all)
-new mercies every morning

And somewhere in the world as we know it, it is always morning. Which means mercies are always new.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

I don't know why I'm even writing in this thing, it's been so long. Maybe writing is the best form of communication I have with the world at large at the moment. I don't even have a good update that is worth listening to, so I'll just tell you all the surfacy logistical bullshit. I just finished my first week of training at Port City Chop House. If selling beef is a calling, I've earned some gold stars. It's been too long since I have asked people if they want their steak medium or medium rare on a regular basis, which can at times be liberating (especially in the circumstance where one is converted from well done to medium rare) now that makes everything worth it for sure.
So far my favorite part is the 50 percent employee discount at lunch because they have the best freaking ahi tuna salad I've ever had. They also have the most calm kitchen staff of any place I have ever worked which is super rare. (and anyone at Omaha knows that if it's not super rare and it is supposed to be, that beef could potentially get accompanied by many 4 letter words.)
The menu is ridiculously expensive. Thank God it is conveniently located next to Wilmington's premiere gated community, Landfall. This means that anyone coming in to the most expensive restaurant (practically in the whole city) isn't flipping out when they learn that the $18 Tristan African lobster tail is indeed on their bill. The chocolate cake is $12, adding an Oscar is $11, etc etc etc...
I am certainly glad to live near a body of water for the first time in my life that isn't a leech sucking pond nestled up in a cabin with no insulation and covered in mold and a refrigerator with enough smoothies making material to fast for the next year. And it is nice that it produces waves on a regular basis, for this I am thankful.
My car officially has several oil leaks, and my transmission is leaking as well. And after about 30 times I think the guy got it through his head that "no I do not want the $70 freaking high mileage oil change for the love of God, thank you very much." or the $18 wiper blades.. Gheesh isn't that what Wal-Mart is for people?
Well I'm not really wanting to go in to much more about my life in this blog at the moment. I don't want to make the last week look like the sum of the last 5 months because it just wouldn't be the truth. But in all honesty the last week has been hell. No other way around it. Some days I just wish I had been born a different type of mammal. Like a dog, for instance. Then I could spend my days happily chasing after sticks and tennis balls.. The highlight of my could be whether or not I got wet or regular kibbles and bits, and spend much time in the yard chewing on the pigs ear that my dad brought home. I could chase my tail (much more acceptable when you are a dog) and actually make a hobby out of sniffing for other canine piss where there in turn, I get to mark my own territory.
Or I could be a little bird up in a tree. Sitting by peoples window sills at 5 in the morning, waking up the world with a sweet song that is just the one that comes out, not one I have to make up. And if I make the people mad with my little bird song, I can fly fly away and see everything from way up above. I want that ariel view from above. Maybe the song is sweeter from a bird because they get to see everything looking down.
Well if you are still reading this, then congratulatons... I probably would have stopped at the dog. I'll end by saying this: Hope does not disappoint. It's funny that I am writing this right now, because it is 95 percent opposite of how I feel at the current moment. It really couldn't seem further from the truth. But I guess that is me throwing my dart, standing in what little faith I have at the moment, hoping to nail the enemy in the head with that one little dart. Hope does not disappoint. And there is a 4th man standing in the fire with the Hebrew children. He will not ever leave us, will not ever forsake us. Even when all shit hits the fan and all we have left is that one little piece of truth, it is enough to know that never will He leave us, nor will He forsake us. And that is really all I have at the moment.