Saturday, March 27, 2010

I don't know why I'm even writing in this thing, it's been so long. Maybe writing is the best form of communication I have with the world at large at the moment. I don't even have a good update that is worth listening to, so I'll just tell you all the surfacy logistical bullshit. I just finished my first week of training at Port City Chop House. If selling beef is a calling, I've earned some gold stars. It's been too long since I have asked people if they want their steak medium or medium rare on a regular basis, which can at times be liberating (especially in the circumstance where one is converted from well done to medium rare) now that makes everything worth it for sure.
So far my favorite part is the 50 percent employee discount at lunch because they have the best freaking ahi tuna salad I've ever had. They also have the most calm kitchen staff of any place I have ever worked which is super rare. (and anyone at Omaha knows that if it's not super rare and it is supposed to be, that beef could potentially get accompanied by many 4 letter words.)
The menu is ridiculously expensive. Thank God it is conveniently located next to Wilmington's premiere gated community, Landfall. This means that anyone coming in to the most expensive restaurant (practically in the whole city) isn't flipping out when they learn that the $18 Tristan African lobster tail is indeed on their bill. The chocolate cake is $12, adding an Oscar is $11, etc etc etc...
I am certainly glad to live near a body of water for the first time in my life that isn't a leech sucking pond nestled up in a cabin with no insulation and covered in mold and a refrigerator with enough smoothies making material to fast for the next year. And it is nice that it produces waves on a regular basis, for this I am thankful.
My car officially has several oil leaks, and my transmission is leaking as well. And after about 30 times I think the guy got it through his head that "no I do not want the $70 freaking high mileage oil change for the love of God, thank you very much." or the $18 wiper blades.. Gheesh isn't that what Wal-Mart is for people?
Well I'm not really wanting to go in to much more about my life in this blog at the moment. I don't want to make the last week look like the sum of the last 5 months because it just wouldn't be the truth. But in all honesty the last week has been hell. No other way around it. Some days I just wish I had been born a different type of mammal. Like a dog, for instance. Then I could spend my days happily chasing after sticks and tennis balls.. The highlight of my could be whether or not I got wet or regular kibbles and bits, and spend much time in the yard chewing on the pigs ear that my dad brought home. I could chase my tail (much more acceptable when you are a dog) and actually make a hobby out of sniffing for other canine piss where there in turn, I get to mark my own territory.
Or I could be a little bird up in a tree. Sitting by peoples window sills at 5 in the morning, waking up the world with a sweet song that is just the one that comes out, not one I have to make up. And if I make the people mad with my little bird song, I can fly fly away and see everything from way up above. I want that ariel view from above. Maybe the song is sweeter from a bird because they get to see everything looking down.
Well if you are still reading this, then congratulatons... I probably would have stopped at the dog. I'll end by saying this: Hope does not disappoint. It's funny that I am writing this right now, because it is 95 percent opposite of how I feel at the current moment. It really couldn't seem further from the truth. But I guess that is me throwing my dart, standing in what little faith I have at the moment, hoping to nail the enemy in the head with that one little dart. Hope does not disappoint. And there is a 4th man standing in the fire with the Hebrew children. He will not ever leave us, will not ever forsake us. Even when all shit hits the fan and all we have left is that one little piece of truth, it is enough to know that never will He leave us, nor will He forsake us. And that is really all I have at the moment.

1 comment:

Lora said...

oh, my sweet friend... so sorry its been rough for you lately. thinking of you and praying for you. call me if you want to talk.
love you!