Black Cohosh

Well here I am wide eyed at 1:30 in the morning. I kind of wish that I were a morning person. I'm all "in my prime" this time of night, and just kind of feel like an asshole in the morning. Or maybe thats just all day.. Or maybe I'm just being too hard on myself. Or maybe its both. OR.... Maybe I'm really an asshole at night too, but I'm up all by myself and no one is here to cause friction. Or maybe I just said the word asshole too many times for one paragraph. What's that bumper sticker? "Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks your an asshole." Anyhoo, moving on....
Today was pretty chill. Woke up and went to Bedside Baptist again. Attendance was still was low. And Paster Pillow is ready for a feather facelift. This fake down stuff just isn't cutting it anymore, my neck is killing me! I went to the gym for the 7th day in a row. It has become my release time. Get out all that frustration on the machine. Most days it works. I still couldn't quite make it to the normal mark all day though. I felt like an alien from outer space. Kind of like someone had drugged me or something. After that I went to Earth Fare to get some "herbs" to help with PMS. I don't say herbs in "quotes" because of the marryjawanna reference... its because supposedly there is some stuff called black cohosh that will level out my hormones, combined with some other herbs, and by cutting out salt, sugar, caffeine, and adding in more exercise 2 weeks before my cycle starts. WHICH means that on Friday, everything I love, I can't have. I can live without the salt... and I can make it without the sugar... its the caffeine thing that is going to be the hardest. But if it keeps me from becoming the sasquash monster, then anything is worth it...
I am leaving the country in 2 weeks. Excited doesn't quite cover how I feel. Its kind of an empty feeling though, knowing that going to a warm sunny paradise does not make things better. And I'm not going for hope of better. I think maybe to "remember" is more like it. Hopefully I'll get to feel God's presence on this trip at some point. Maybe He will surprise me. I'm not holding my breath though. False expectations breed strange children if you ask me. I can't wait to smell burnt trash.. What a weird thing to get excited about.. But sometimes that shit smell reminds you of home... in a good way...
I worked my ass off this week. 8 shifts in 8 days, 2 of them doubles. I like working. I hate having too many days off... At least if I am at work, I have to focus on work if you know what I mean. I have 5 shifts this week, and a few hair appts... I hate cutting peoples hair now a days, but I'll make an exception for a few people.