Thursday, December 3, 2009


Many times I have attempted to write something in this thing over the last 2 months of my life. Every time I write something I decide that I don't like it and end up erasing it and go on my merry way. So hopefully I can present you something of substance this time.
I moved a little over 2 months ago from Ft. Mill to Wilmington. I am living in a townhouse with my friends Sue and Meghan exactly 3.7 miles from Wrightsville Beach. It is only within the last 5 days that I have realized how thankful I am to have that beautiful body of water nearby. We live approximately 4 miles down the road from the Carr's house which is where most life activity is usually happening. We do most of our grazing, praying, hanging and general life there. We usually make bi-weekly trips to Costco for very berry sundaes (Meghan and I) and I have frequented almost every empty parking lot in Wilmington at some point over the last month in attempts to deal with my independant runaway tendencies. Every comfort zone is slowly but surely being pulled from my lifeless grip. This is quite the process that I am going through. Severe mercy. It's beautiful because I can now see the objective, which is me dead, and the life of God alive and working in me. It is a beautiful exchange, but it still requires me dead, so the dying process is well... exactly that.
At the moment I am living on a quickly depleting savings account, and lots of ups and downs. (It is worth it.) Some days I'm like Dear God what the heck am I doing? And then I have nights like tonight where I realize that gold is refined in the fire, and the fire is what purifies us, and brings us back to the place where God created us to be. I am so incredibly thankful tonight for so many reasons. The Holy Spirit is freeing me, beginning to breathe on my life in a way that I haven't experienced in a long time, maybe ever. I am so very thankful for Covenant. So thankful to have a dad. It is worth it.

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