yes

I don't know if I would call this a real post- maybe a mini side note of realization is more accurate... It occurred to me this morning that my getting married did not change the devil's job description. It has remained the same. HE has remained the same. He still hates me, wants me to live my life in compromise. He HATES revelation, and hates it when I feel love. If you would like to take it a step further in to your marriage, you could say this: he hates your marriage covenant, and wants to bring division in your home. He loves it when you become angry and then harden your heart toward your spouse. He wants you to feel hopeless, defeated, and he wants you to feel as though you are the only one on the planet that is good for nothing. He hates it when you come together with your spouse and seek the Lord. He loves to throw in any distraction possible to keep this from happening. He hates it when you forgive, and hates it even more when you take it "off the list." His entire mission statement is and will forever be "steal, kill and destroy." It's what he does. It's who he is. A liar and a thief. He win's employee of the year at his job year after year. He will carry out his mission statement until the day he is thrown in to the lake of fire...

I am not writing this because overnight one night life got hard. I'm not writing this because I'm having problems with my husband. i AM writing this because it needs to be stated that no matter what your position is in life, the battle will continue to rage on. The enemy will continue to tempt you, and your Father will continue to sift you like wheat. The honest struggle in my own heart lately, is this: Who's process am I giving myself over to day after day? Both sides can be painful, but one bears incredible fruit for those who are willing to surrender their will and even their opinions about their life and where it is going.

The beautiful thing about this is that it is always His kindness that leads us to repentance. It's His presence that draws us in and keeps us. He is truly slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness towards us. And it all starts with a little tiny yes.

Old Spice Denali

I came to the dawning realization this morning that I have been wearing less Mac eyeliner, and more of my husband's Old Spice Denali deodorant. I figure if I am going to haul and sort of purchases (even if they are from BB&B) around in this blazing heat, then I had better be wearing something that is powerful. And it is... so powerful. I currently just finished our "oh crap were out of eggs and milk" shopping trip that always ends up yielding much more than eggs and milk. I think that today was the first time in my adult life that I have sent a text message making sure it is okay that I spend a certain amount of money. I've always just had a stash of it hidden away in the bank, and I can humbly say that this is not the case anymore. Had this been 2 years ago, I would be irritated and frantic. Apparently God has worked on me since then, because I am finding myself handling that very differently. This is a good thing. I have also been trying very diligently to make it possible for us to eat healthy pretty consistently and make that a habit throughout our marriage. This can be challenging because eating healthy cost like 10 million times more than eating crap. It's a sad but true fact. I am also working on an up and coming baking blog, so I will keep you updated with that. Well, Happy July 5th, I'm off to buy produce.

Job Interviews

After long agonizing days of searching the deep ends of the will of God, baking several loaves of banana bread, and at least 10 turkey sandwiches, I have come to a grand conclusion.... I am going to wait tables for a while longer. I know, I know, it is technically not a "career job" in the way that most of corporate America defines career. BUT I stumbled upon a dawning revelation yesterday... We are saving money to move to Tennessee. That is what we had decided before we even moved in to our new place. So if we are saving money to move to Tennessee and not necessarily planting deep roots here, AND I haven't gotten much of a leading from the Lord about what to do or what not to do then this is my conclusion: I am doing something. So yesterday morning I woke up craving the structure and consistantcy of a job. I had actually been dreading the idea of job hunting and resume writing after our month and a half nightmare of job hunting. The idea of being rejected OR even worst not called back at all was just not at the top of my list. But somewhere in the depths of confusion God lit the pilot light under my ass and I wrote up a simple resume (which my english major husband kindly revised) and filled out 2 online applications. One of them was to some City Club (like a country club with no golf course) and the other to Del Friscos Steakhouse (which i thought was a shot in the dark for sure) Some of those higher end steakhouses shy away from hiring female servers, it's just a fact of life. Especially in big cities! But low and behold the Lord had mercy, and BOTH places called me back asking for interviews today, no joke. I was pretty shocked. The Del Friscos interview is this afternoon, and the City Club one is in the morning. So I guess I'm slowly but surely climbing up the steak latter if I get this job. So here I go, off to interview #1, I'll tell you how it goes later.

This has been a morning of extreme searching for me. Extremely scattered searching, that is. I decided to take a slight detour from the land of job resume templates into the great land of "other job" ideas. Other jobs meaning ones that might potentially pay much less than what I would currently be applying for in the realm of fine dining. My internet search has gone something like this:

The book of 2 Peter (Bible Gateway)
www.ihop.org (a good hour of webstream backround)
List of jobs in food service (Craigslist)
List of other jobs (Craigslist)

(Selah)- accompanied with mental dilemma and momentary thoughts of going back to school.

www.ihop.org- one more hour of webstream.
best banana bread ever (All recipes)
Thoughts of opening a bakery (my head)
State Board of Cosmetology Website of Texas- Possible license transfer ideas swimming through my head accompanied with stronger thoughts about how much one cut and highlight already destroys my back in one day.
Looking through wedding photos again and reminiscing. Awwwwwe.
A few aimless moments of Facebook.
Sigh.

(Selah)

So here we are. Here I am. This has always been one of life's biggest battles for me. Figuring out what I was made to do. So while I'm waiting for the answer, I will bake my husband some banana bread and start my baking blog.

house

We have officially been in our new place of dwelling for 5 glorious days. Most of the week has been spent unpacking and trying to figure out how to arrange the living room and dining room (they are both one enormous room) We even considered making it one huge music room, considering our lack of furniture coupled with our abundance of amps and guitars. I cooked us our first meal in our new house last night, which was spaghetti squash and spinach pasta with my bacon sauce. To my extreme delight, John loved the spaghetti squash even more than the pasta and even asked me why I put parmasean cheese on his (butter and cheese were my sneaky ploy to convince him that spaghetti squash is truly amazing) It was a plan that backfired but ended beautifully, because now there is another food to add to the grocery list that my husband actually loves.

We have made it through some intense times for 56 days of marriage, but I can say that I thoroughly delight in my husband. He is wonderful and sweet and kind, and I don't even care anymore that he is well on the way to growing his first marital beard. As long as he shaves the "neck beard" that accompanies the growth of a real beard we are golden. I think the thing about beards that creeps me out, is that I've always wondered how many leftover meals are really hiding in those things. But John has thoroughly educated me on proper beard maintenance, which respectively includes shampooing the beard on frequent occasions.

Last but not least, I must add that it is a liberating experience being able to run around the house in only your underwear. This is the first time that I have been able to do that in years! I could have gotten away with it living with my mom in the months of wedding preparation in Ohio, but it was so freaking cold I barely ever took my coat off! Before that, I was always living with a bunch of people that would have told me to put my clothes back on, BUT not so with your husband. Husbands not only allow cooking in your underwear but they highly encourage it. So the combination of 100 degree Texas heat and living with a man, my "wear underwear all the time dreams" have come true indeed. Thank you Lord!

Amanda's Creations

 

As I was taking some time this morning to sort through about 12,000 pictures from the last several years, I stumbled upon a few of my very favorite on this particular day. My incredible and dear friend Amanda (the artist formerly known as Mandy) wanted to bless me with an epic birthday present on a low budget 3 years ago while we were both living in Ft. Mill, South Carolina. It is true folks, some of the most valuable gifts in life can only be found in a pair of sharp scissors, popsicle sticks and construction paper. And glitter. Out of all of the things I received for my 27th birthday, nothing in my mind remains more memorable. As I was flipping through these gems, I had visions of an Etsy shop being birthed. The possibilities are quite endless. So until that day arrives, kick back and enjoy the show.