He liked it, so he put a ring on it!

I am baking today. Oh the glory!

Quite the Update

I think it is about time that I wrote an entry in here and updated you all on my crazy life. Yes, my crazy, beautiful, currently extremely wonderful life. To say that life has changed since my last entry is a complete understatement. I think if you had told me 6 months ago that I would be in love by November and getting married by next April, I would have told you to up the dosage. But here I am, telling you that I was indeed in love by November and am most definitely getting married April 30th! I am working on a blog right now trying to tell the full version of John and Therese, but its not quite complete yet.

Life at the moment is basically finishing up my job at the Chop House, packing up my life in Wilmington, and spending as much QT as possible with my family here. It is most certainly a bittersweet time having to leave people that I dearly love, but the sweet part is incredibly sweet, being able to spend the next several months making preparations to have a life with my amazing "borderline fiance" John :). Basically our plan for the next month is: possibly drive to Ft. Mill on the afternoon of Christmas Day to see Lora on the way to Knoxville; drive to Knoxville on the morning of the 26th to meet John; leave my car there and drive back to Ft. Mill with John so he can meet my family there; drive back to Wilmington either that night or the next morning; spend the 28-30 with the Carr's, and pack up everything and say goodbye; drive to Harrisburg, PA on the 30th until Jan.3rd for a New Year's Conference John is playing for; take the train to New York one of those days, since neither of us has ever been; drive to Ohio on the 4th for him to meet all of my family and friends; then somewhere in January we will drive to Knoxville to see the rest of our family there; then drive to Nashville to see my BFF thank the Lord in HEAVEN! Then John is driving back to Texas to do some work, and I am heading back to Ohio to plan a wedding with my mom. Crazy? Yes... Can we pull it off? I think so... More updates to come.

Especially one for when I get that ring on my finger!

I thought I had something profound to say.  Not so much!

I am writing this entry tonight with a heavy heart and an extremely tired brain. I try not to take myself too seriously on such little sleep, but would most likely feel this way still on 8 hours, even though I only had 3.
I don't know exactly know where I am going with this, so I might jump all over the place.
Life right now is actually really good. I am loving Wilmington, loving the beach, loving friends, enjoying just being. I have been more at peace over the last 2 months than I can remember in years. I have been finding that there is no striving in real love, and when I started to really get this, rest and peace were the product. Since coming to this place gradually, the smell of religion has become even more potent and unappealing than ever before in my life. I have been able to look back on the last several years (that were very necessary to walk through) and get a glimpse of what I want in my life, and other things that I am absolutely sure I want nothing to do with. Much of this has to do with the very form and structure that once brought me freedom but now sickens me to even think about walking back into.
Most importantly,  I have gotten another glimpse of the real thing. Its that  pure and undefiled love of God that washes me over and over and over, and walks right by my side, right where I'm at, no matter what people say... This is so great to me, because thats why He says to do the things you did at first. He loves us right where we are at, and knows that we have no ability to change on our own or fix our own lives. We get to go through the ebbs and flows of the mountains and the valleys, and they are ALL good.. Not just times that feel good.
I guess the heaviness of heart tonight comes from my own human inability to understand why things happen the way they do sometimes. My friend Casey is the one on my heart tonight. Just as quickly as she found out she was pregnant, she miscarried within 3 days. My human brain doesn't comprehend this stuff. It offends my mind and hurts my heart, yet draws me further in to the heart of God who is really the one in control of our lives, not us. I become foolish the moment I begin to think that I am really in control of my life. We are not promised tomorrow. That can be a scary thought some days. We are however, promised to never be left or forsaken. When my trust and love and hope are wrapped up in that place is where the peace will begin to take over.

Tax Day (aka Lora's birthday!)

Happy Birthday Lora! Normally April 15 is a rather grim day for the general American majority but your birth makes it much sweeter. And so does the fact that I spent months pretending that my taxes didn't exist in fear of owing a ton of money, and then getting back $600. I'm a pretty happy camper about that at the moment.
This week has been great so far. I have decided to just be thankful through the good the bad and the ugly, and with each passing day I have been waking up with a heart that is more and more full of love, nothing that I can explain, nothing I did anything to earn. That is the most incredible thing about grace is the moment that we are brought back to the place where we realize that it is truly free, and that there is no amount of striving or good behavior that we could ever do to earn it. So I am reveling in that revelation of true grace that I knew so well back in the beginning, and also in my $600 surprise. Okay, well I'm off to work again. Later!